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Stop Following Me!

I may be slow, but I'm in front of you!

If you win the rat race, you're still a rat.

Life is too short, have dessert first

Suburbanites pave over trees, then name streets after them.

All Men are Idiots and I Married their King.

Some days you're the bug,
and other days you're the windshield!

Eat Well, Stay Fit, Die Anyway

Boldly going nowhere

CATS: The other white meat

Don't be sexist - broads hate that

Body by Nautilus; brain by Mattel

Heart Attacks...God's Revenge For Eating His Animal Friends

He's not dead, He's electroencephalographically challenged

Honk if you've never seen an Uzi fired from a car window

How many roads must a man travel down before he admits he is lost

If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you

If you lived in your car, you'd be home by now

I'm an imbecile and I vote

Money Isn't Everything, But it Sure Keeps the Kids In Touch.

What has four legs and an arm? A happy pit bull.

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