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Quotes from 1955 

Women complain about premenstrual syndrome, but I think of
it as the only time of the month that I can be myself.

Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place.
Billy Crystal

"Luge strategy? Lie flat and try not to die."
Carmen Boyle (Olympic Luge Gold Medal winner - 1996)

"Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake
whole relationships."
Sharon Stone

The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you have got it made.
- Groucho Marx

"There are only two reasons to sit in the back row of an airplane:
Either you have diarrhea, or you're eager to meet people who do."
Henry Kissenger (former US Secretary of State)

My girlfriend always laughs during sex -- no matter what she's reading."
Steve Jobs (Founder: Apple Computers)

Honesty is the key to a relationship. If you can fake that, you're in.
Courtney Cox (Monica on "Friends")

"Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black men.
Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps."
Tiger Woods

"Things you'll never hear a woman say: 'My, what an attractive
Patricia Arquette

"I read somewhere that 77 per cent of all the mentally ill live in
poverty. Actually, I'm more intrigued by the 23 per cent who are
apparently doing quite well for Themselves."
Jerry Garcia (Grateful Dead)

"Capital punishment turns the state into a murderer. But imprisonment
turns the state into a gay dungeon-master."
Rev. Jesse Jackson

"Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks or where
he lives, but he never forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it is."
Barbara Bush (Former US First Lady)

According to a new survey, women say they feel more comfortable
undressing in front of men than they do undressing in front of other
women. They say that women are too judgmental, where, of course,
men are just grateful.
Robert De Niro

There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are having allergic reactions to latex condoms. They say they cause severe swelling. So what's the problem?
Dustin Hoffman

When the sun comes up, I have morals again.
Elizabeth Taylor

There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men
think, "I know what I'm doing. Just show me somebody naked."
Jerry Seinfield

Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find some woman I really don't like and just give her a house.
Rod Stewart

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